Original Douche
by StormPhoenix3205
Summary: Remember way back in season 3 when Klaus first starts courting Caroline by getting her dresses and presents? Ever wondered how he found out her size, her favorite color...who possibly told him that? What if, thanks to the sire bond, it was Tyler? One shot. Forwood/slight Klausoline. T for language but otherwise mostly fluff and nostalgic angst.


I threw my duffel onto the passenger seat and slumped down into the driver's side. I put my keys in the ignition but then I just sat for a sec, wondering when my life got so _difficult_. I wish I could say it started when I found out I was a werewolf, but it was tough even before then if I'm being honest. I'm a Lockwood, for Christ's sake. And my shitty dad made sure I knew it, too. Every day of my life. _Or every day of his_ , I thought ruefully. _All the way until he died…_

My dad was such a bully, I reluctantly admitted to myself as I buckled up. Keeping up appearances had been everything for him. And the Lockwoods always had to appear perfect. Always. Mom was good at faking; she'd been a pageant queen as a kid- she always said the right thing, acted the right way; she'd been smiling through pain her entire life. She always said I was the only thing that gave her a reason to smile and mean it. But me, I always showed my emotions, always spoke too quickly without thinking. My dad hated that, hated seeing the cracks in the mirror, hated when things didn't go the way he thought they should. He enjoyed the power of being mayor, telling people what to do, commanding them, scaring them, hurting them...

Controlling them.

When he died I vowed that no one else would ever push me around again. But no one ever understood that. And okay- yeah, I do have a temper, but Dad was really what made me the way I was. Not even Matt got that about me, the guy I'd been best friends with ever since our peewee football days. Because Matt was the nice guy, the good guy- even with his craptastic family that was way worse than mine. He still got up every day, faced the world, went to school, did sports, _and_ was there for everyone else to rely on. Matt could never understand why I was such a dick sometimes. Being nice came so easily to him; he was so easy to like. And I was…I was so busy trying not to get stepped on that I made sure to step on other people first.

Like my dad.

Until Caroline. I adjusted my rearview mirror and smiled like an idiot, as if she could see me or something. Caroline Forbes was the reason I was hitting the road in the first place. I would rather never see her again forever than do something to hurt her. It's not only because she helped me when I had no one and was first beginning to discover the world of the supernatural. Caroline just…she just _got_ it. Caroline got _me_. She helped me see that that I didn't have anything to prove, that being myself was good enough. She made me understand that being _im_ perfect that was okay and no one would think any less of me for it. She made me understand that I didn't have to give people a hard time because I was so terrified if I didn't, they would walk all over me. She made me realize I could let people in and the world would keep on turning.

Caroline made sure I didn't become my dad.

My hands gripped the steering wheel tightly as I thought about the stupid sire bond. I had gone from being one man's punching bag to another's. I shook my head angrily and tried not to think about it as I started the car and put it in gear to drive.

Just as I was about to accelerate, my phone rang.

The caller ID read: _Original Douche._

"What do you want, Klaus?" I said by way of greeting.

"Oh dear, is that any kind of salutation for the original vampire responsible for removing your werewolf curse?" His gloating was dripping off every word. "You should be thrilled to repay me with politeness at the very least."

"Hi! What can I do for you today, Mr. Mikaelson?" I chirped brightly.

"There's no need to lay it on thick now, there's a good lad," Klaus said irritably. I could practically _hear_ his frown through the phone. I smiled.

"Where are you?" Klaus went on.

I froze. I couldn't tell the truth; Klaus didn't really need me for anything but I knew he wouldn't want me skipping town. But he had asked me a direct question…I wasn't sure how well the bond worked with half-truths, but I decided it was worth a shot.

"I'm in my car," I responded quickly. "I _am_ still allowed to drive, right?"

Klaus ignored my sass. "Is Caroline with you?"

"No. Is she okay? What did you do to her?" My heart began to race.

"Nothing, nothing," Klaus replied silkily. "As far as I know, she's perfectly fine," he assured me. "I just need you to do something for me."

I rolled my eyes. Did he think I was an idiot? No way I was doing anything for that d-bag. It could only lead to trouble. But…well, he _had_ saved me from turning into a werewolf every month. I could at least hear him out. No harm in that.

"Something like what?" I asked slowly.

"What size clothing does Caroline wear?"

I snorted. "You're kidding me, right? Why do you need to know that?"

"I am not." There was a pause. "I will also need to know the password to her Pinterest account."

"Look, I don't need to know what you like to wear in your free time, dude. But whatever sick, twisted reasons you need to know all about Caroline's clothes, I'm not helping you."

"My apologies, I merely assumed you'd removed her clothing any number of times to be able to pick up on this aspect." Klaus' voice was thick with sarcasm. "Or perhaps I assumed wrong? Perhaps you two haven't gotten to the physical stage of your relationship because she's waiting for a real man?" He was smirking now, I could feel it. He let the implication of his words hang in the silence between us for a few moments before he spoke again. "What. Size. Tyler."

I gritted my teeth. But I guess he did deserve an answer, after all he'd done for me. "I have no idea, okay? And even if I did I wouldn't tell you."

"Oh, you would and you will." Klaus corrected me. "Because fortunately for me, compulsion works just as well over the telephone even when you try to resist the sire bond. Now, go find out what size your girlfriend is then call me back. And afterwards, be a good little dog and forget this entire conversation."

"You can't just- "

" _Find. Out._ "


End file.
